The Newest Royal Family Member

Things didn't go well after Drucilla's disastrous public spectacle, and Queen Totti realized she needed new blood on her army if she were to battle Josephine Half-Baked.

Queen Totti will be adding a fresh face to the Royal lineup. Meany Bigmouth!

Meany has taken the Queen's last name, and will soon be joining Totti in the Royal palace. At least, that's what she says she will be doing. She has officially changed her name in the book, and is boring everyone with the details of her grand coming out party.

Meany's story is believable, because she's about the only one in the kingdom that still likes her. Unless you count Drucilla Dimwitty, but that vote only counts as half a vote due to the number of lost brain cells.

Is Meany on her way to the big leagues? Or is Queen Totti grasping for straws? Meany can't claim she was hacked, because the proof exists otherwise.

Something Wicked This Way Comes

Coming to a venue near you: Queen Totti and the Fabricators.

Here is your chance to score a photo with the self-appointed head of the Royal Family.

Bring your cash to get a photo with the Queen. Another small fee allows you to gaze upon her beauty, and if you are willing to mortgage your home, you can shake her hand!!

When will you ever again be able to stand in the presence of greatness?

We Don't Need No Fabrication

War has broken out in the Royal family. Queen Totti is playing the blame game, and no one is immune.  Except Drucilla Dimwitty.

Drucilla, fresh off the stage from her Crazy Train concert, has suddenly been cast in the role of "Mother Teresa" by Queen Totti. Look up perfect mother in the dictionary, and Totti has forced the publisher to place Drucilla's photo.

And where does the blame lie? Smack on the shoulders of Josephine Half-Breed and her cousins.

Anyone and everyone that will listen is bombarded with a full on assault of punctuationless Royal edicts penned by the Queen. She only preys upon those she feels are weak, instead of Conversating with The Enlightened Ones.

The Queen has pronounced Drucilla as Mother of the Year, and it must be true, because she doesn't fabricate the truth.

Banned is Not Spelled H-A-C-K-E-D

A couple of days ago, Queen Totti went on a rampage, threatening certain Enlightened Ones of crimes that she felt they had perpetrated. She sent out a royal edict, naming the guilty parties and their heinous acts of heresy.

She produced evidence that she claimed linked the heretics with their alleged crimes, although many questioned if the proof even pertained to her claims. She became infuriated at the notion that anyone dare question the queen, and her fury only upped her game.

She was banned from one of the Royal social media channels for the very acts of treason she accused the Enlightened Ones of doing. Banned, for seven days.

Suddenly, a proclamation began circulating throughout the royal channels, saying she had been HACKED. She lost the ability to utilize social media because someone HACKED her again.

Unless HACKED is a pseudonym for something else, one of the royal hangers-on need to educate Queen Totti on the difference between HACKED and BANNED.

That is all.

Everyone Wants The Truth But No One Wants To Be Honest

Last night, one of the Grand Ball preliminary events took place. Only parts of the Royal Family were present, but they were definitely enough. Drucilla Dimwitty, Queen Totti's fierce protector, showed a less than scrupulous demeanor. That is the nicest thing I can say about her behavior.

Meanwhile, everyone's wild child, Josephine Half-Baked, was the calm and courteous one. She was well behaved, and was a saint compared to Drucilla.

Today, members of the kingdom had sordid opinions about Drucilla's antics. Many pointed out that Josephine had matured, but Drucilla had digressed into a royal embarassment. Yet, Queen Totti was quick to correct people's comments with her own version of reality.

Yes, Queen Totti threw Josephine Half-Baked under the bus, and insisted that Drucilla had actually transformed into a wonderful mother. If anything, Josephine's current behavior was worse than Drucilla's behavior that was displayed at the preliminary event.

Does Josephine know about Queen Totti's betrayal? Would Josephine like to have proof of such scandalous claims?

Meme Thinks You Are Finished

Special shout-out to all of my friends who joined in on our Twitter chat tonight. I saved a few memes just for you.

Drucilla Dimwitty and her Dum-Dum Dictum

Drucilla is a ticking time bomb, just waiting to explode and ruin the Royal franchise.

When someone gives you press, you do not call the Royal Anchor a slur.

Queen Totti, please get Drucilla under control?

http://www.quickmeme.com/meme/3sjxyr

Come Chat With Me This Evening

I am so fond of The Enlightened Ones. Their intellectual growth has surpassed any expectations, and they are quite clever in retort.

Come join me tonight on Twitter. Sign up now so you will be ready!!

My Twitter name is @Richard_Mullens and we can all chat live by adding #QueenNoble to our tweets.

After including #QueenNoble to a tweet, click on #QueenNoble and you can see our chat.

Live Chat will start at 8:00 PM Eastern and I can't wait!

Put A Little Love In Your Heart

There are certain service pages posting my silly fairy tale.

I did a test, and one has come through with flying colors.

I am truly honored you want to promote my story.  Please include my address (re: disclaimer directly above this sentence.) 

While one Illuminidiot thinks the police will act upon their "waaaaaambulance" accusations, what the    Law truly acts upon is copyright infringement.

Cropping my post may have been done simply to preserve space, which I graciously understand. This time. No hard feelings I hope.

Would You Like to Sponsor a Child?

I have learned something over the past few days. If you make the decision to anger people, you better make sure you have cleaned house. If you haven't, and you go after The Enlightened Ones, they will quickly bond together and sink your ship.

How many times have you watched television, and saw a commercial about helping the starving children? St.Jude, Unicef, and Make A Wish all provide help to deserving children and their families. Does anyone happen to have their number? The WAAAAAmbulance might need their services.

That's right folks, begging on the street doesn't just happen in the poorer sections of the kingdom. In certain circles, certain royal folks have claimed destitution, eagerly accepting help from adoring subjects.

Everyone is sick in some way or another, but sick in the head doesn't constitute fabrication of circumstances.

Double Crossing The Double Crosser

Queen Totti was rumored to have made threats to several subjects by way of false prophets. The threats became public, and the backlash from The Enlightened Ones was harsh.

Questions now arise as to whether Totti actually authored the posts by way of Carly Curtains. Her likeness was most definitely proclaimed, but now it remains to be seen if the Curtains actually match "The Drapes."

If The Curtains match The Drapes, it will be tragic in a variety of ways. One, the Drapes actually belong to Queen Totti's matriarch. Queen Totti has defended her in past posts, so the betrayal would cut like a knife. Secondly, this would be the first time that Queen Totti had actually NOT authored underground threats. 

Is Totti's name now Patsy? Or is this a clever plot twist initiated by Totti to take the heat off of her and placed upon distant family? Queen Totti is no saint, and if innocent of said threats, the gossiping gloves had previously fit so it was easy to convict.

When the Head and Mouth Fit, You Must Acquit!

Queen Totti's desperation has reached new heights, and she has been forced to play the card she knows is a risky move. Necessity is the bigmouth of invention.

Meany has been summonsed to the Royal palace! And on cue, her big mouth has been telling anyone who will listen. Meany Bigmouth has hit the gypsy lottery! It's me, she exclaimed. They like me, the really, really like me! (Grammar, we know, is not her strong suit.)

Meany Bigmouth is not smart enough to recognize she is a pawn being played to ensure the Royal photo ops necessary to commence the Grand Ball. How could she recognize her pawn status? After all, Queen Totti didn't whisper it in her ear... And we all know Meany is just a mouthpiece.

Meany Bigmouth needs to be careful now that she has breached the Royal compound. Whether it is due to the large amount of oxygen absorbed through her mouth, or because of her belief in her own self importance, Meany's head as grown rather large and offensive. Meany Bigmouth must realize there is only one Queen. Hence, there is only one star in this show.

Grand Ball and the Cancellation Threat

Queen Totti's plan to stir up interest in the Grand Ball by way of controversy has backfired, and the party is under threat of cancellation if things do not improve.

The discord between Totti and he royal family has reach a fevered pitch, and the court Lords have informed Queen Totti to fix it, or else. It seems as if the Royal family (Josephine, etc.) refuse to partake in precipitous photo ops, leaving the fate of the Grand Ball in peril.

With everything crumbling around her, Queen Totti has begun a campaign of sympathy and good will. Is it a little too little too late? Or will Ambassador Totti garner the good graces of family members she eagerly portrayed as foolish just a few weeks ago?

Totti wishes she had not bitten the hand that fed her, and her forlorn tales of woe to elicit sympathy are falling upon deaf ears. The Enlightened Ones are casting light into every corner, and making sure they lengthen everyone's short memory span. Is it time to elect a new Queen?

Dixie Undertire and her MCM

Dixie is so excited to debut her new and improved image, because she's got something to prove to the royal family. Queen Totti and Josephine's snubs still smart, and she has worked hard to correct every flaw they pinpointed. Why, she even secured a MCM to be by her side, forever and ever amen.

Dixie's MCM is quite a looker, but his pedigree leaves much to be desired. Yet the happiness apparent between the two of them bodes of truthful love. MCM appears to genuinely care for Dixie, and his new life with her on the road sure beats his previously tenancy in his mother's basement.

Islands in the stream, that is what they are..

6 Months BKB

Barbie has been quite saucy, as of late. She has been tooting her horn and revving the engine, alerting all to her royal status. With Ken by her side, she demands attention and respect.

Barbie doesn't think anyone knows of Ken's past conquests, because nothing existed before Ken and Barbie (BKB). Why should anyone remember, because everything revolves around her universe. Or so she thinks.

Ken has been quite the ladies man, and his ladystealth has been polished with plenty of practice. Why, just last spring Ken traversed to Atlantic City with his lady of the season. Hitting the slots with a new mommy was just the fun he needed.

But it's a Barbie's World, and she's a Barbie girl, so Ken's past discretions will be left behind in a cloud of dust as they spin off in her Barbiemobile. ~~Beep Beep~~

Headlining The Bash: Dixie Undertire

Any great party is enhanced by good music, and the Grand Ball is no exception. Royalty was lucky enough to book Dixie Undertire, a local artist in hot demand. Dixie can croon with the greatest of country stars, although her best performances are in a moving vehicle with the radio blasting.

Queen Totti was unsure whether Dixie would attend because of an unfortunate snub during a previous celebration. Dixie Undertire, sensing that her charitable act may lead down the road to Benjamin Boulevard, deemed Totti's invitation as a public apology for her former embarrassment.

Dixie Undertire is getting back in good graces, erasing the target she has been wearing around her neck. It's all about the Benjamin's baby!

Beat Them At Their Own Game

The Invitations are being sent and all are urged to prepare for the Grand Ball. Time is growing near, so proclamations of beauty and well-being from past gatherings are running in episodic nausea all through the kingdom. Remember how lovely and wonderful it felt to witness the perfection of royal lives? Yeah, I don't either.

The kingdom's awareness has grown so much that I must now bestow them with a title: The Enlightened Ones. 

The Enlightened Ones are joining forces to rise against the tide of malarkey flowing through the royal streets. Together, they control the fate of the Court. The Royal Game has shifted, and strengths will now be exploited as weaknesses. The Enlightened Ones will be making key moves in the next few days, and only time will tell if their plot is successful.

Love and devotion will be bestowed by The Enlightened Ones upon Josephine Half-Baked through likes and comments of encouragement. The Enlightened Ones know that beauty is found in the eyes of the beholders, and their adornment of Josephine in the Queen's face will incite a jealousy that will burn bright.  Josephine is no saint, but her misdeeds have always been at the detriment of herself, and not at other's expense. 

Let the games begin.

Mirror, Mirror on the Wall...

Who is the smartest of them all?

So much has been published about the ruling elite, that the true accomplishment has been overlooked.

The people have awakened from their passive coma, and they are a force to be reckoned with!

No longer is it easy to pull one over on the formerly passive patrons of the kingdom. In fact, the people of the kingdom have stood up, demanding legitimacy and truthfulness. Turning one against the other was easy in the past, but now that night has turned in to day, the ability to throw shade has been eradicated.

A sudden surge of patriotism has overtaken the people, and they are now starting to rebel against their former status quo. How will Queen Totti control her people? Are they even HER people anymore?

Bravo, People! BRAVO!!!!

Benjamins Baby

We haven't heard much from Josephine Half-Baked lately. After her official banishment from the kingdom, she has worked hard on cleaning up the damage she still lays claim to. What once was old has now become new, and her public social circle has slightly shifted. Or so it seems...

The Grand Ball of Spring is only days away, and so royalty has began the preparations for the great exhibition. After all, if the kingdom does not attend, the rule of the elite shall wither away. Forgiveness is being touted wherever one looks, but the underground forgiveness took place long before. In fact, the kingdom is unaware that the Grand Ball has already begun, with the jousting and tangling set forth in motion to get the attention of the people. So much preparation must occur in order to guarantee the financial success of the official commencement.

Give the people what they want, but activate the dog and pony show in order for the people to want to attend. It's all about the Benjamins, baby.

No More Wire Hangers!!!

There is something about a closet that makes

a skeleton terribly restless.

- Wilson Mizner