When the Head and Mouth Fit, You Must Acquit!

Queen Totti's desperation has reached new heights, and she has been forced to play the card she knows is a risky move. Necessity is the bigmouth of invention.

Meany has been summonsed to the Royal palace! And on cue, her big mouth has been telling anyone who will listen. Meany Bigmouth has hit the gypsy lottery! It's me, she exclaimed. They like me, the really, really like me! (Grammar, we know, is not her strong suit.)

Meany Bigmouth is not smart enough to recognize she is a pawn being played to ensure the Royal photo ops necessary to commence the Grand Ball. How could she recognize her pawn status? After all, Queen Totti didn't whisper it in her ear... And we all know Meany is just a mouthpiece.

Meany Bigmouth needs to be careful now that she has breached the Royal compound. Whether it is due to the large amount of oxygen absorbed through her mouth, or because of her belief in her own self importance, Meany's head as grown rather large and offensive. Meany Bigmouth must realize there is only one Queen. Hence, there is only one star in this show.

Grand Ball and the Cancellation Threat

Queen Totti's plan to stir up interest in the Grand Ball by way of controversy has backfired, and the party is under threat of cancellation if things do not improve.

The discord between Totti and he royal family has reach a fevered pitch, and the court Lords have informed Queen Totti to fix it, or else. It seems as if the Royal family (Josephine, etc.) refuse to partake in precipitous photo ops, leaving the fate of the Grand Ball in peril.

With everything crumbling around her, Queen Totti has begun a campaign of sympathy and good will. Is it a little too little too late? Or will Ambassador Totti garner the good graces of family members she eagerly portrayed as foolish just a few weeks ago?

Totti wishes she had not bitten the hand that fed her, and her forlorn tales of woe to elicit sympathy are falling upon deaf ears. The Enlightened Ones are casting light into every corner, and making sure they lengthen everyone's short memory span. Is it time to elect a new Queen?

Benjamins Baby

We haven't heard much from Josephine Half-Baked lately. After her official banishment from the kingdom, she has worked hard on cleaning up the damage she still lays claim to. What once was old has now become new, and her public social circle has slightly shifted. Or so it seems...

The Grand Ball of Spring is only days away, and so royalty has began the preparations for the great exhibition. After all, if the kingdom does not attend, the rule of the elite shall wither away. Forgiveness is being touted wherever one looks, but the underground forgiveness took place long before. In fact, the kingdom is unaware that the Grand Ball has already begun, with the jousting and tangling set forth in motion to get the attention of the people. So much preparation must occur in order to guarantee the financial success of the official commencement.

Give the people what they want, but activate the dog and pony show in order for the people to want to attend. It's all about the Benjamins, baby.

No More Wire Hangers!!!

There is something about a closet that makes

a skeleton terribly restless.

- Wilson Mizner

Drucilla the Gilded has lost her Polish

Drucilla Dimwitty rose to the occasion, just as expected. The timing was hard to pinpoint, but the outcome remained on course. Once again, I am reminded of my dear uncle's dedication to the tenants of his program. Insanity is expecting different results from the same actions.

She is a beauty, no doubt. But the spirited defense of Queen Totti fell by the wayside, and she has once again morphed into a self serving subject. Drucilla has forgotten that the grand ball is coming soon, and her invitation will hinge on her favor of the grand kingdom.

Drucilla's next lesson should be learning how to maneuver in this new period called "the enlightening of the people." Now that the light switch has been flipped on, painting a picture of virtue will be harder to accomplish. The kingdom has become wise to the false images they have been fed for quite some time. Garnering good graces will actually depend on tangible actions demonstrating virtue.

Your move, Drucilla.

~~Beep~Beep~~ Barbie and Ken

While the kingdom is reeling from a new round of informants and their deluge of spoiled alliances, no one has noticed the arrival of Barbie and Ken in their purple love bug. But Barbie likes attention, and the arrival of a new royal will quickly have Queen Totti seething through her bleached white pearls.

Everybody enjoys a good love story, and Barbie and Ken aim to please. With their beautiful smiles and their perfectly coiffed locks, their mission is to leave a trail of envy in their dust. They have been off, galavanting up and down the highways, painting a rosy love-laced picture of perfection. They are like a Monet painting; from a distance, you see the beauty, but up close you notice the flaws. Whirling around, laughing and playing, you would almost forget that their union is forged in criminality. But that is what happens when you garner attention for your beauty... you put a huge target on your back.

Both Barbie and Ken have sordid pasts, but they plan on leaving them there. The royalty is starting to gather in Queen Totti's domain, because the grand ball is about to begin. NOBODY misses a party!

Will the past deceits of Barbie and Ken come to harm their future? Or can they use that love-colored paintbrush to create a new portrait of their union?

Meany Goes for Curtain Number 2

In a previous installment, we were left with the cliffhanger of whether Meany would go with one of two choices.

"1. Meany realizes that Queen Totti is offering Meany's head on a rhinestone studded platter. Meany provides proof that she has, in fact, communicated with Queen Totti.

2. Meany has been lying all along, and she simply disappears. Meany's only true connection to fame was through her "special" connection to Totti McStotty. There is no use in keeping up the Queen Totti friendship facade any longer."

Meany is sending messages from Siberia, trying to win the good favor of anyone who will listen. Since Queen Totti has made no public appeals for Meany's forgiveness from her legion of fans, Meany has read the writing on the wall. Meany Bigmouth's biggest skill is her gift of gab, which got her into her current position in the first place.

Will society welcome Meany Bigmouth back into good graces? Or has the world stopped drinking Meany's berry favored Kool Aid?

Chords and Nerves

What a busy day! Reminds me of another adage my mother once told me.

"What a twisted Tale we weave when first we practice to deceive."

Speaking of tales, did anyone get the chance to tell the old tale goodbye? Of course you didn't. The beauty of tales is that they live on in the hearts and minds of those who encounter them. The disappearance of an old tale and the entrance of a shiny, clean tale does not erase the memory of the trickery and deceit.

As I think about the beginning  and ending of tales in my life, I lament over the reasons for Hellos  and Goodbyes. It reminds me of another old saying my mother used to say, "if you can't take the heat,  get out of the kitchen." Why erase the history, you ask? It might because someone is turning up the heat.

Woof, woof.

Birds of a Feather Post Together

I spent my morning with my newspaper, followed by a good chuckle over cushter posts. My mother taught me a valuable lesson at an early age:

"Caker pen chichi to the dinlers without evidence."

I get misty-eyed thinking back to her wonderful ways. She was such a wise woman, a beauty through and through.

All of these tales with scandal and deviousness swarmed around in my head. Something seemed very familiar about it all, but I could not quite put my finger on it. A dog barking up a tree caught my attention, and it suddenly dawned on me. Tales always have traditional elements, usually teaching a proverb at the end. The tales I had been reading always flattered those who were the subject, showing such beautiful points of view with pictures and words. If I had not known differently, I might actually believe the subjects of those tales were truly as kind as their author had presented them to be.

My mind suddenly jumped to scandal, and I realized it was as if I was reading in the mirror. The same tales were being authored in scandal, with subjects painted as beautiful portraits. Scandalous tales full of fictitious flattery were everywhere that I looked. At least in the beginning.

Authors often write under pseudonyms, covering two different types of genres. I started to wonder if all of the stories I was reading were penned by the same person. What are the chances?

Go back in time and read posts on different pages. See the similarities?

Woof, woof.

Those Who Live In Glass Houses

As I enjoy my cup of coffee, reading all the scandalous tales of old, I notice that historical drudgery keeps appearing in the form of veiled threats. This "big HAIR don't care" attitude, circa 2000, is quite amusing.

Such a vain attempt to deflect attention reeks of desperation. But what do you expect from those reaping what they've sewn? #FriscoApartments

Quality Assurance

Many might be telling TALES...

SCANDAL may be at every twist and turn...

GOSSIP may come and go, but here in King Richard's Lair -

there are no SUPERFANS.